Year 2011: Reflections

Well, I was originally going to write about what I´ve been doing these past few days, but I only have time to actually write one big post today. I realized that I want my last post of the year on my very young blog (6 months old.....wow) to be about looking back at what this year has brought me--both good and bad. It´s a good exercise to put things in perspective, I think.

The year started off, as always, with my birthday a few days in. My 24th birthday marked my first (and only) birthday so far in which I have worn lolita. I dolled myself up, plopped on a wig, and bravely marched out into the world dressed in lolita. Not for a convention, not for a costume party, but as a treat to myself--wearing the clothes I wanted to on a day I wanted to wear them. I feel that I took a big step that day--I´m always aware of stares that I might (but probably aren´t) be getting, but I stepped forward and just dealt with it. I even got a few compliments (from old ladies, as always).

2011 is also the year in which I finally completed my university education. Officially, it´s over and done with. In June 2011, I graduated from my third and final degree in a branch of Psychology that deals with Education and Learning dysfunctions. Anything that I study after this, I will have to pay for myself and arrange according to my own schedule. 2011 is the year in which the "university chapter" of my life turned its last page and ended. I was sorry to see it go, and even afraid--it´s hard for me to accept changes that are so huge. Somehow, moving countries seems like it´d be less of an impact on me. But I gracefully stepped down from my student podium.

This is the year in which my poor grandfather has died. 2011, I will remember you forever for this fact. He lived to see me graduate with honors, though, something for which I am very grateful. Grandpa had always been proud of the grandchild of his that has gotten such good marks at university, has studied so many things and languages, and who still listens to all of his stories. I´m very different from my brother and other cousins, especially study-wise, but he always saw that as something positive (and loved to try out his knowledge of languages with me). I couldn´t be by his bedside when he died, because it was so sudden, but I´m glad that I had at least talked to him a few days prior. Rest in Peace, Yayo.

2011 has also been the year in which I created this blog. Originally planned as an expansion to the personal  blog I´d been writing on MAF, it´s become something more. I now have another blog which is dedicated solely to my cosplay interest and exploits. I´m writing again. It makes me so happy--I thought that I´d never get started again, when I stopped  a two years into university. Perhaps one day I´ll improve enough to make my dream transform into a real goal: to publish a book. Whether a children´s book or a novel, I have no idea.....but this year, I´ve started writing again--and I plan to continue, and work harder and harder.

I´ve also learned to love my camera. My photography skills are still quite lacking, but as I improve, I hope to take better and better photos to share.

This year, I´ve also learned that showing an interest in fashion isn´t "bad" or something to be ashamed of. Sure, my tastes will always be as ecclectic as I am, but that´s just a reflection of my personality. People will just have to learn to deal with the fact that I´m 24 going on 25 and still in love with cute things--and ready to incorporate that into my wardrobe. I might not dress lolita much, but I certainly enjoy adding "loliable" or "casual lolita" things into my outfits.

2011 has taught me that money isn´t as important as I thought it was. Sure, there´s no denying that it´s what moves the world, but I´ve discovered that you can still be happy even if you don´t have everything you´d like to buy. Since September this year, I´m working half the hours that I used to, which means I´m earning half the money I used to (which wasn´t that much to begin with, but hey--it was enough, since I´m still living in my family home). I´ve had to learn to deny myself a lot of impulse buys, and I think that I´ve ended up happier in the end, and less cluttered. I´ve also discovered how much fun it can be (and also how frustrating) to pick out gifts for friends and family while on a limited budget--and I´m proud to admit that I´ve spent more money on others than myself this Christmas. It might sound selfish to say, but a lot of years I´ve bought myself a present for the holidays. This year, I got myself a purse and that´s that. No more. Well, I have ended up buying an Usakumya pochette with the money my Granny gave me instead of a present. Her money, though, not mine. XD Technically, it´s a Christmas-birthday present too. That´s the sort of thing that happens when your birthday is so near Christmas/January 6th. Stuff tends to flow together. I had a lot of fun deciding on presents for my parents and my brother too. I hope they like them when they open them next year! January 6th 2012!

Summarizing, though, I will say that 2011 for me was a year of definite personal growth. I had to make important decisions at work, and learn to prioritize. I´m in the middle of my official teaching exams and studying hard to face one of my greatest fears: a public presentation in front of a jury of peers. I know I´ll try my best, even if I´m quaking in fear; it´s a decision I took in November and which will take effect in February. I made yet another adult decision: I prioritized studying for my exam on the November 26th over finishing 2 cosplays for a convention the following weekend. It was a very hard and painful decision--no one in my family understands what cosplay and sewing really mean to me, it´s more than a creative escape--but I determined that studying was more important. Afterwards, I did manage to put together one cosplay in an amazing feat of temporal organization skills I doubt I´ll ever show again. I was satisfied, and it was worth it: I did my best in the exam, and I sewed an outfit. But I made that first decision expecting that I wouldn´t be able to cosplay at that con.

It probably sounds very strange coming from someone who´s on the brink of turning 25 (just two weeks left!), but I think I´ve actually just taken my first steps in the adult world this year. I hope that I don´t fall (too much) or trip over my feet, but I guess that´s inevitable. My vision is already focusing on 2012 and beyond; I want to continue progressing. Change is scary, but I want to be able to face it head on. I want to improve myself, become a better person.

Happy 2012 everyone! Let´s all look forward to a glorious new year!

I´ve made a small timeline with a few photos of important moments in 2011 for me:

New Year 2010-2011. First New Years celebration I was in charge of cooking; Bro and I were alone.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

January 2011. First public lolita coord, at my birthday party.

February 2011. First Gijinka (Minun) and first traditional-based Chinese outfit. (also apparently the only thing I did in February)

March-April 2011. The rest of my family finds out my interest in lolita. Various reactions, some derisive. I dealt.

May 2011. First time I ever acted on stage in a cosplay contest. First large group cosplay.

June 2011. My Third and final graduation. End of my student life!

July 2011. Fireworks in town!! I took lots of pictures.

August 2011. First vacation in years with my grandma, so she doesn´t feel alone.

October 2011. I discovered new sewing skills.

October 2011. Wore one of my dream cosplays: Princess Zelda.

November 2011. One of my childhood friends had a baby in summer. She baptized him in early November. Hard to believe, she´s only a few weeks older than I am...

December 2011. Dream come true: Photoshoot with a photographer.

December 2011. First Christmas celebration without my grandpa. :(

So many things have happened this year! Good, bad, in-between....things I wanted to do and did, things I wanted to do but couldn´t, unexpected things, things that I knew would happen, and everything in between...but I´m glad to be alive!

I´d like to finish with a quote, which I find appropriate for a post centered around remembering. As they say:
 
" Hours pass into days, and time slips away, but the words we speak and the things we do touch the lives of others and live on forever."